A letter to my single sister

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Do you ever feel alone?

Do you ever feel impatient? Do you ever feel envious of your friends who are dating, engaged or married? Do you ever question why you’re single and if there’s purpose in this?

Sweet sister, I see you.

If you have ever felt any of these things - this letter is for you.

But before I dive in, I want to remind you of these three truths: You are loved and you have purpose.

Can I say something that might sound a little bit crazy?

Singleness is a gift.

Yeah… you heard me. And I’ll say it again. Singleness is a gift from God. The apostle Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:7 that everyone has been gifted in different ways. So whether you’re dating, married, or single, your relationship status is a gift.

When I was single, I would have laughed at that. I probably would have thought, “That doesn’t seem like much of a gift to me.” It’s like your parents giving you undies and socks when you really wanted the new iPhone or a gift card to Nordstrom. Am I right? But here’s the catch: Sometimes what we want is not always best for us. And we don’t always appreciate the things that are best for us. But what’s best for us is anything that God chooses to give us. If you and I really believe what God says is true, we must cling to this truth. Our Heavenly Father works everything for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28-29). And “everything” includes singleness.

1 Corinthians 7:35 says, “I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way and undivided devotion to the Lord.” Paul’s encouragement to the church at Corinth was to leverage their season of singleness. Singleness isn’t something that God gives someone and laughs at - it’s actually a period in which one can live wholly unto the Lord. Being single and without a date doesn’t mean that you’re the lamest one in the room. On the contrary, God handcrafted a period of singleness to be a time of growth, devotion and dedication. It’s a time unlike any other! If we allow Him, God will do something amazing in times of singleness. If we allow Him, He will cultivate a new way of thinking and living in us.

The gift of singleness is a really special time in our lives when we can devote our lives to Jesus and serve His kingdom wholeheartedly.

It’s you and God. The gift that you’ve been given allows you to commit 100% to growing and cultivating your relationship with Him. Because as amazing as relationships are, there will be a time where your attention is divided and you will have to continually prioritise your relationship with Jesus. So relish in your gift of singleness! Leverage it. Take advantage of the time you have to grow in your character and in Christ’s likeness.

The truth is, time is short.

It may seem like the days and the months couldn’t fly by any faster but the truth is that time is flying, and it’s not slowing down. And shouldn’t the amount of time on the clock affect the way we live? Shouldn’t we care about people’s souls and God’s mission? Instead of squandering our days by worrying about our relationship status, shouldn’t we make the most of our singleness? Shouldn’t we make the most of any season God has placed us in? Whether that’s singleness, dating, engagement or marriage… shouldn’t we be keeping our eyes on the prize?

Don’t get me wrong, being in a relationship is one of the sweetest blessings from Jesus. Although I’m not married yet, I know that marriage is one of the greatest gifts from God because of the numerous examples around me. Although marriage is blessed, it isn’t the essential narrative of what we are living for. God so deeply cares about every detail of your life. He absolutely cares about romance, dating and marriage. But the main story line, the essential narrative of life is about living washed, sanctified and free in Christ. The main point is going and telling the world. The main point is being salt and light so that God’s kingdom will grow exponentially. After all, we have been created for Him and His purposes (Colossians 1:16).

If you’re beating yourself up about your single status, it’s time to stop.

I’m here to tell you that you have been given a gift and God has gifted YOU. The Creator of the Universe knit you together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139). He intentionally created every little character trait, passion and physical quality you have. He knows you better than your best friend and your parents. He knows you more than your husband ever could. Do you trust that God knows you and what’s best for you? Do you trust that there can be so much good and growth sown from your season of singleness? This is exciting! God has great plans for you.

My prayer is that you would grasp the purpose and meaning that is in your season of singleness.

My prayer is that you would dive head first with an undeniable devotion to Jesus Christ. Work hard and work often on your relationship with your Father. Let the King of your heart fill you with joy.

Wake up each morning with a renewed sense of purpose.

Thrive in the fact that you are free to please God and serve others without distraction. You are loved. You are worthy. You are purposed. Live in this beautiful gift you have been given with your crown held high. 

With love,
Your sister Tara Sun

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Tara Sun is a college student, blogger and mint-chocolate chip lover. She has a deep passion for sharing God’s truth and hope to young women all across the world. Through faith and fashion blogging, Tara’s goal is to create a community of women who are equipped with God’s Word and the promise that there is immeasurably more in Christ. Check out her blog, Immeasurably More, and follow her on Instagram, as she shares encouraging words and fun fashion.